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3 Keys to a Happier, Healthier Family

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3 Keys to a Happier, Healthier Family

Family is supposed to be a source of encouragement and support, a source of love and acceptance. Unfortunately, many families are having to endure a lot of conflict and division due to behaviors that undercut family bonds, trust, and unity.

Conflict is certainly not uncommon, particularly in extended families. There are often many small issues in small and large families that go unspoken and unaddressed. When left to fester, precious family ties are often broken. However, through compassion, patience and determination, keeping a family together and in harmony is possible. It is also well worth the effort.

Be a positive family influencer by using these 3 keys to minimize, if not eliminate, unnecessary conflict...


1. Avoid Insults and Criticism

Negative words aimed at each other damage the core of family relationships.

Insults and negative criticisms create an immediate chasm between family members. Even if insults are disguised as jokes, negative words still hurt and create conflict. Additionally, it is not just about the words we use, but also how they are delivered. Disrespectful tones accompanied with smirks are never well received.

Avoid words and comments that could be taken as insulting or critical, and replace them with kind words that encourage and uplift family members. Though people may forget the exact words they hear, they will never forget how those words and actions made them feel.

If you can be one thing, be kind.


2. Avoid Gossip

Family members often form their own observations, judgments and opinions about each other. The problem is, they are quick to share them with other family members. Gossip manipulates others into taking sides, and this is never a healthy or fair set up.

Passing negative judgments, gossiping, divulging secrets and/or the private information of family members are all toxic behaviors that can, and will, do significant damage. They cast a dark shadow across the person gossiping, the person listening, and the person being talked about. No one emerges a winner. Everyone loses.

Most often gossip occurs when someone is upset by something related to the person they are gossiping about. It may make a person feel better temporarily to share it with other family members, but in the end it does not solve the problem.

If you have a problem or issue with someone in the family, speak to them directly. Remember that what people say or do that hurts you isn't about you; it's about them. They might be fighting a battle you know nothing about, or suffering from jealousy, insecurity, or other issues - and, need love and kindness the most.


3. Accept and Embrace Individual Differences

Understanding and appreciating the concept of 'individuality' are the bare minimum requirements family relationships need to develop and maintain healthy and fulfilling bonds. There is no need to be overly forceful that everyone in the family should share the same views. Rather, it's important to remember that individual differences provide opportunities to expand everybody’s world and perspectives. Individuality is something to embrace, not tear down.

We tend to see people the way we want to see them, not as who they really are - and, who we ourselves really are. The reality is that each and every one of us has both good and bad traits, strengths and weaknesses, successes and failures.

Encouraging each other through our weaknesses and applauding each other for our strengths does wonders for contributing to healthier, happier family relationships. It certainly lends to a more peaceful and joyful overall family dynamic.


Together, we can all make a difference - one kind word, one less judgment at a time...


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