How Harmful Gossip is Affecting Nursing Homes & Senior Centers
How Harmful Gossip is Affecting Nursing Homes & Senior Centers
While many adults believe that bullying and petty gossip are long behind them, left in the halls of high school and college, studies show that they have no age limits. Gossip and bullying are rearing their ugly heads in senior centers, nursing homes and adult-living facilities with great frequency, and wreaking tremendous damage on our elderly.
Kim Norris, a 72-year-old from Denver, says she has had run-ins with a group of “mean girls” at the senior complex where she and her husband moved a year and a half ago. She says the women in the group gossip about her constantly. They gave her dirty looks whenever she tried to use community facilities like the rec room, and discouraged other residents from befriending her. “No one should have to deal with the harassment I’ve endured,” she says. “The first six months I lived here, I used to sit in my apartment and just cry.”
The Rise and Impact of Senior Bullying and Gossip
When people envision a bully, they think about a young kid or adolescent picking on someone smaller than them. But, there’s gossip and clique systems in senior centers just like everywhere else. It’s like ‘Mean Girls,’ only everyone is in their 70’s and 80’s.
Bullying, at any age, can affect a person’s self-esteem and lead to depression and/or anxiety. For those who become victims, the impact can be detrimental to their psychological and physical health – particularly for seniors. The elderly simply do not have the resistance to endure such stress, anxiety, and emotional devastation. Seniors in assisted living facilities or nursing homes who are victims of bullying, and do not have a healthy network of friends, are also at a higher risk of cognitive deterioration. Moreover, men are at a higher risk of committing suicide.
What is senior bullying?
According to the American Psychological Association, “Bullying is a form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort. Bullying has many forms - from physical contact, to cruel words, gossip, and rumors.
A recent study by Dr. Margaret Wylde of the ProMatura Group found that senior bullying occurred in every independent living community studied.
Causes
Many seniors can have trouble transitioning into a senior living community; their loss of independence and feelings of fear can make them feel powerless. Acting out by bullying and gossiping about others is an admitted way for them to try and feel more in control of what is happening in their lives.
Renee Garfinkel, a Washington, D.C.-based psychologist who specializes in aging issues, says it’s also “that human phenomenon of the strong picking on the weak. It’s not a function of aging, it’s a function of pathology.” There’s a tendency for people to become more and more uniquely themselves as they age, she says. “Chances are, if you were kind of a nasty, selfish person throughout your adulthood, you’re probably not going to be the benign grandma type when you’re old.”
Media attention
Thankfully, this pervasive problem in senior homes is making its way into the news and receiving the attention it merits. Senior bullying and the harmful effects of gossip is receiving increased attention in the mainstream media, with articles such as Paula Span’s New Old Age column, Mean Girls in Assisted Living and Jennifer Wiener’s Mean Girls in the Retirement Home.
Awareness and advocacy is the first step in addressing this growing problem. Heightened media exposure for the issue increases the likelihood that potential residents and their adult children will be asking about bullying prevention when they’re searching for a senior living community.
For information on our bullying prevention program for seniors, please write Susan@wordeffect.org, or call 844-600-word (9673).
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